Reevaluating our OB world...

I am a nurse.  A postpartum nurse.  I have been a postpartum nurse for my entire career, going on 13 years this fall.  I have seen a lot and experienced a lot in those years, and I change and learn and grow with every shift I work.  The way I practice nursing and my attitudes and opinions have evolved and changed so much I feel like I'm not the same girl that graduated years ago.  And I'm not.  Thankfully. She was young and immature, but she was skinny.

There is one thought that has stayed in my brain for all those years though.  It rolls around in my head and grows and changes shape like a snowball or a rock in a riverbed.  But it has stuck with me from night shifts as a young nurse through three pregnancies and deliveries, from full time to part time and back and forth through every shift and area of my Mom/Baby practice.

We need to change OB.

This is a very sensitive subject, I know.

But I think it's time we, and I mean Americans, reevaluate our OB world.

People, when you can get matching monogramed patient gowns and pillow cases to wear while you are groaning and sweating and leaking all kinds of fluids in labor, you have gone to far.

So hear we go, let me just step up onto my soap box here...ahem.

Attention pregnant women:

When you give birth in a hospital (and if you choose to home birth please make sure you have fully researched it, that is a whole subject I will not discuss here), rather it's with an OB or a midwife, epidural or hypnobirthing, c-section or vaginal, you are a patient.  Let me make this clear: you are being admitted to a hospital, you are not checking into a hotel.  Yes hospitals are trying really hard to remodel or build and look beautiful, and I will tell you I do love the nice clean crisp look of our new lobby at the hospital I work at.  But please people, pick a hospital based on the quality of nursing care you are going to receive, not on the way it looks.

No seriously, pick a hospital for it's nurses.

I almost want to go so far as to say be more concerned about the nurses than the docs.

I love our docs, they are AMAZING, I have seen them in action and I respect them and love working alongside them.  The care team is a wonderful thing, everyone working together.  But really, nurses spend twelve hours with you, your OB will show up for a few minutes at a time and when the baby is crowning or the spinal is kicking in and be gone before you've finished the first feeding. They check on you daily during your hospital stay but depend on the nurses to be their ears and their eyes and provide quality care for their patients.  They trust us, so you need to too.

Your nurse will stay by your side while you endure painful contractions, help you into positions to move the baby down, teach you how to push and cheer you on, teach you how to breastfeed, how to care for yourself and your baby, and keep you and your baby safe.  The slightest hint of danger brewing and she jumps to attention to protect you and your baby.  When you choose a hospital pick one that has you and your baby's safety and health at their core, not one that focuses on anything, ANYTHING less.

Having said that I beg of you, pregnant women, to talk to your nurses and the whole care team.  We are there to care for you, be honest with us, trust us.  If you're afraid, let us know.  If you don't know something, let us know.  We can't read your minds.  And I have learned that there are so many different  types of families out there.  There are scared new parents, who have never changed a diaper before, there are introverts who are overstimulated by everyone in the hospital, there are patients who need the nurse to advocate for her with pushy family members, and so many other kinds of patients.

And if you are more concerned with the decor in the room or you're upset because the TV doesn't have ESPN than you need a complete overhaul of your priorities.  You're a parent now, it's not all about you.  So turn off the TV and stop texting while I'm trying to show you how to swaddle the baby.  Use your hospital stay to bond with your newborn, answer your questions and rest up as much as possible before you are discharged and off into the real world and adjusting to your new life.

And don't forget to thank your nurses.