Happy Birthday Hannah!

Today is Hannah's third birthday. I could write a novel about all that has happened in her short little life so far, but I'll try to keep it short(er).

We weren't sure we were going to have a third child. I kept telling Jeremiah I thought someone was missing from our family, he kept telling me we were in over our head with just two. About the time I was starting to think he was right I found out I was pregnant. After the initial shock we decided she was meant to be, and a gift from God.

My third and final pregnancy was not what I thought it would be. It was exciting and I loved being pregnant one last time, but there was this underlying layer of fear for almost the whole 37 weeks. We weren't sure how severe her heart defect was, whether she would have down syndrome or some other syndrome. She was barely growing by the end and the last few days leading up to my induction date I was terrified she would die in utero. When I was admitted to the hospital for my induction the nurse asked if there had been any stressful events during the pregnancy, Jeremiah and I looked at each other and both said, "the pregnancy!"

5 days old, all the cool babies get jaundiced!

At 2:04 pm Hannah was born, tiny and screaming and all long arms and legs and big eyes. Oh she was so cute! She was like a tiny little doll, 4 pounds and 3 oz and only 17 inches long. She was the perfect size for Abby to cuddle, and she did all the time.

Abby and Eli came to the hospital and got to see Hannah for the first time in a month. 

Some of my favorite people in the world work in the PICU at RMHC, they painted Hannah's nails!

We worked hard to fatten her up and by the time she had open heart surgery at 3 1/2 months old she was almost 7 pounds. I underestimated how long she would be in the PICU after her surgery. I don't think I was prepared for all of it, I kept thinking, "it was just a VSD, it's not that big of a deal, right?" Oh well. At the time it almost completely consumed Jeremiah and I. I was practically living at the hospital for 34 days. I missed our normal life. I missed my older kids. Abby turned six while we were in the PICU, the rest of my family went to DisneyWorld and we missed it all. It's just part of Hannah's story.

She came home, struggled to gain weight, ended up getting a nasal feeding tube for two months. I would swaddle her up tight and drop it down while she screamed, I wasn't her mom, I was her nurse. Then I would scoop her up and cuddle her tight, once again her mother.

For someone who struggled with eating for a long time, she sure caught onto cake really easily.

She has needed in home physical therapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy. Next month she gets to start preschool for her therapies. She will be delighted, she kept trying to sneak into Eli's classroom last year.

Hannah is tiny, and fearless. She is like having twins in one body. She is funny, and smart and determined to do everything her older brother and sister do. She still lags in her speech and struggles with staying focused because she is a sensory seeker. She carries chickens around the backyard, loves to take showers, wants to wear panties, and just started to say "h's" the other day. So now she says, "Hhhannah." It's adorable.

She isn't the third child I thought we were missing, she is so, so much more, so much better than we ever could have dreamed.

Happy Third Birthday Hannah Joy!  We love you!