Waiting for the phone to ring

November is here.  I have a feeling this month is going to go by in a speedy blur.  I'm still in the midst of that postpartum fog, the one that lasts for the first year or so due to lack of sleep and hormones and other factors. 

Today was the day when Hannah's cardiologist, the amazing Dr. C was going to meet with all the other docs and surgeons in their group to discuss all the potential and upcoming surgery cases.  They agreed that Hannah needs surgery to repair the holes in her heart, and now is the time to do it.  So now I'm just hanging out waiting for the surgeon's office to call me and schedule her surgery.  Dr. C was kind of funny on the phone, he must have all kinds of parents he has to break this sort of news too, and I'm sure everyone reacts differently.  He asked me how I felt about Hannah's surgery and I told him flat out, "I'm ready, bring it on."  I could almost hear him smile knowingly over the phone, "I know you're ready," he said.  

So now I'm just waiting for the phone to ring to schedule her surgery date.  The surgeon is out of town next week so it will hopefully be the week after that.  It's not like I have to work the timing around my other appointments, I'm pretty sure I can cancel my hair appointment.  But looking ahead at the calendar I'm guessing I will be sampling the fine dining experience that is Thanksgiving at Pres/St. Lukes.  Hospital turkey isn't all that bad, I think I've had more Turkey day dinners in the last ten years at the hospital I work at than I have at home.

I'm not sure what to expect.  I keep going back and forth from being excited that this is really going to happen soon to being really nervous that this is going to happen soon.  Thankfully the cumulative sleep loss of the last three months is helping me to be exhausted enough to sleep at night instead of lying in bed worried about surgery.  The stress is a little much, I've got a horrible head cold, the backs of my eyes hurt and I have a knot under my left shoulder blade that any good Boy Scout would be proud of.  But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm thankful for that.

Stay tuned...