But I don't wanna blog (whine, whine)

It's been over a week since my last post, sorry about that.  I started out so good with frequent updates on Hannah, but the last few days I've just been putting this off like I used to put off writing papers in college.  We've kind of slowed down in the exciting positive stuff happening.  She had her chest tubes out last Thursday and has kept them out (so far), but not a lot of other progress has been made.  If anything we haven't really moved forward or backward, but just kind of got stuck and now we're completely stalled.

Okay, so I also must admit that I'm feeling a little sorry for myself and that might be clouding my judgement, but not by much, I think the docs are frustrated too.

Before Hannah's chest tubes came out the doctors decided that she didn't have a chylothorax after all.  It seems she had a leaky RA line that had slipped out of her right atrium and as they were infusing her lipids into her IV it was leaking out into her pleural space (that's in her chest) and then draining out the chest tubes, looking very much like chylos.  Whoops.  Funny huh?  Yeah, not really.  But I was glad to hear that she could eat regular breast milk again and didn't have to keep her chest tubes.  So out they came and she started eating regular food again.  Then over the weekend she got really fussy and fought all her feeds, stopping after only a few sucks.  We were worried she might have developed reflux or an allergy or something, turns out she was in withdrawal, whoops again.  Sunday night she got some methadone (yeah, like ex-heroin addicts in treatment programs are on, no stigma there) and started doing better.  Long story short (to late) she's back to not eating very well and they have put her back on the fat free breastmilk/formula combo.  She still has some fluid around both lungs, it may be chylos, maybe not, time will tell.  She doesn't have reflux and the speech therapist that did a swallow study on her yesterday said she has one of the best swallows she's seen in awhile, aww thanks.  She started vomiting after her feeds overnight so that's no good, not sure why.  She is currently out on a field trip to interventional radiology getting a PICC line, that's a peripherally inserted central catheter, so she can get lipids and other fluids and have blood drawn without having to poke her so much.

I'm over it.  Really, over it.

I wanna go home.  Before Christmas.

I spent yesterday and this morning sulking but I know it could be worse, she doesn't have cancer, she won't need more open heart surgeries, at least I will get to take her home again someday.  I'm just discouraged that this all seems to be taking so long and she seems to develop random complications that delay her going home.  I'm ready to go as soon as she is, now to just get Hannah on board with that plan...